I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
