Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she told me i tasted like america
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
