Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
