I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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