.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
