I'm lost and stupid without you.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
