Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize