I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
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the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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