I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
