Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
