He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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