U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
