just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
