i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
How's work?
Spinning.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
