are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
