do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
