We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
