if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
