i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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