when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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