I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
