the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
