You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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