I bet he comes in French.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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