so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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