It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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