She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
a search helicopter?!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
