ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
