Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
