9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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