Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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