No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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