we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
