I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
