I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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