I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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