During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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