And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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