It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
