You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
