i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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