After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
