i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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