is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
