I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
