'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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