what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
