Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
