I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
