really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
This house was built for laser tag.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
