508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
