wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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