How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
