I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize