can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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