she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
