I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
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Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
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It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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