I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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