You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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