i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
