just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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