It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
