where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
