She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
