At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
