Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize